Marriage, long lasting ones, are becoming a myth. When you hear that someone you know, whether a close relative or a friend, is getting married, you can’t help but think to yourself, “how long ’til the divorce?
This is due in fact to the rising divorce rates in the country, last time I checked, it was around 70%. I am saddened by this because I’ve been married to a wonderful husband for around 14 years now and while we’ve certainly hit rough patches, we are still going strong.
Marriage is not a fairy tale where you expect everyday to be a lovey-dovey day. It’s a partnership where both parties are expected to provide something of value for the other. Marriage should not be a thing where one expects everything to be done for him/her as this will ultimately cause the partnership to fail.
My husband and I have had problems in the past, and we expect to have them in the future, but, we’ve worked on them together and any problems that will arise in the future, we’ll handle the same way. I believe that we’ve been successful because we communicate a lot and we both know that we are equals that should bring equal amount of value to the relationship.
Ways to Strengthen your Marriage
- Seek Out Other Couples and Make Friends
Making friends with other couples can be a very good idea to strengthen your own marriage. This is especially true if you happen to befriend a long time married couple that have had their share of ups and downs and worked through it. They can guide you along the way and you can learn a lot from them.
- Talk Every Day and Be Each Other’s Encouragement
Communication is the most important part of being in a relationship. If you can’t communicate properly, the relationship is doomed. You should make it a point to talk with each other every day, even about unimportant or simple things. Talk before going to bed, when you wake up, during mealtime and pretty much anytime you can.
You should also try to encourage each other as long as they are being reasonable. Comforting one another and cheering them up when they need it goes a very long way in making a marriage last long.
- When Arguing, Stay on Point
Arguments will happen and when they do, always try to stay on point and don’t bring up irrelevant stuff that happened ages ago. Also, don’t start name calling, being petty or blaming each other. You should try to find resolutions in an adult and proper way. Be mature and argue like adults.
- Plan for the Long Term
Living in the moment is fine, however, when you are married, the long term is more important. Discuss long term goals and plans with each other and help each other achieve them. This could be a planned vacation, retirement plans, planning a family and financial goals. These are very important and will have a huge impact on the staying power of your marriage.
- Compromise with Small Issues
The little things that can be annoying can become big problems down the line if ignored. However, don’t make too much of a big deal out of them and find compromises where both parties are satisfied.
These little things can be food preferences, what to watch, snoring when sleeping, your bed and mattress preferences, eating habits and more. If these are ignored and not talked about, it can build up and become a big problem down the line.
- Expect Each Other to Change
If you think that both of you will never change during the course of your married life, you are in for a surprise!
People change and when you are married, you have to accept the fact that both of you will become different in different areas. Your interests may differ, your physical appearance will change, a certain situation such as job loss or a health problem may change either parties and the list goes on. You just have to accept the person that your significant other will change into, as long as there no physical or emotional abuse. Being able to accept each other no matter how much they change is one of the compromises of being married and being able to do so will strengthen your lifelong partnership.